Thursday, March 27, 2008

Wanted: Kwynn Leona Sabey

Wanted: Kwynn Leona Sabey, suspected of eating the Easter Bunny

Orem, Kwynn Leona Sabey is the number one suspect in the case of the missing Easter Bunny. Sunday afternoon around 4pm, T. Easter Bunny was reported missing by Santa Claus after the request of a text message from Mr. Bunny to Mr. Claus when he had successfully made it home was never made.

Mr. Bunny and Mr. Claus were attending a bachelor party for Chuck E. Cheese when this experience took place.

Santa Claus expresses his sincere sadness of the missing Mr. Bunny. "He only lives 2 blocks away. I was standing on the door step watching him walk towards his house, and saw Kwynn Sabey get out of a black Nissan Sentra sedan next door with devilish eyes and a hungry grin on her face. Kwynn was standing directly in the path that Easter had to take in order to get home. "

Mr. Claus continues to describe what happened next.

"Chuck E. Cheese was inside while I was standing on the doorstep waving good-bye to Easter. A huge crash desctracted my attention away from Easter, and found me running inside to attend to a drunken Chuck. Not 30 seconds went by before I was back on the door step looking to where Easter would be on his trek back home. To my surprise I found a shocked Kwynn Sabey running with those tiny legs towards the front door of her father, Jake Sabey's home. And,...Easter was no where to be found."

When asked for his side of the story, Jake Sabey speaks of the sweet innocent nature of his daughter Kwynn Sabey. "Look at her, (pointing to a smiling Kwynn Sabey sitting in the back seat of a police crusier) there is no way that little girl could hurt a fly let alone kidnap or eat Mr. T. Easter Bunny."

The picture above was taken by Orem FBI agents just minutes before detaining Kwynn inside the Sabey home with handcuffs and leg-shackles. The DEA agents that accompanied fellow FBI agents quickly pointed out the bare-stomache of Kwynn Sabey in the picture that was taken.

"Of course she ate Easter!", shouts Mr. Clause as he expresses his theory that Kwynn Sabey had eaten Mr. T. Easter Bunny in the short time he was inside caring for Chuck E. Cheese. "Look at her tummy in that picture, and notice the empty basket--she finished everthing in the basket and looked at Easter as desert."

Officer Shaps Tripp comments on the theory made by Mr. Claus saying, " Kwynn's belly, according to the picture, as well as my physical observation, showed no sign of Mr. Bunny inside. No matter if she had a strict motive and desire to eat Mr. Bunny, it is not physically possible for a 2 year old to eat a grown rabbit."

Kwynn had nothing to say besides, "Hooray" when asked about her innocence.

Kwynn Leona Sabey will be held in the county jail awaiting trial for eating Mr. T. Easter Bunny. As of now, there are nothing but theories and suggestions as to what truly happened to Mr. Bunny.


Greg said...

When Kwynn is 16, she's gonna be so freakin' embarrassed cause you know you're gonna show that picture to all the guys that come around.

Rachelle said...

Come on.. please? there is no way she could have done it.. that nice little tummy is just good genes, right Jake ;) If she ate that bunny... she would have rabbit ears sticking out the top of her head! Everybody knows that. All those pics people have with rabbit ears behind them, some people think they are from the guys hand behind them.. No Way! that is just a cover, rabbits are eaten everyday. This poor innocent girl did not do that!!!

Mikal said...

I predict that next year, the most popular Easter-Sermon topics will include:

- The Miraculous Gift of Marshmallow Peeps


- Good versus Kwynn

Anonymous said...

Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

chandradee said...

Too cute Jake and Kwynn! Looks like Easter was fun this year!

D & R Cleggs said...

Jake, this is Ryann. Do you remember Natalie Speirs friend. I found you through the crazy blog world and wanted to say hi!!! I am glad your doing good. Talk to you later!!!

D & R Cleggs said...

Hey Jake, That would be fun to get together! We live in orem. Where are you at now?